Hungering for More

Christmas has come and gone, and perhaps your hope has too. Especially if you were longing for something you didn’t receive—a call from a loved one, a peaceful family dinner without arguing and bickering, a picture-perfect Christmas morning, an intentional gift, a tangible sense of God’s presence as you sang “Silent Night,” or just a simple, “Thank you”—the post-Christmas let-down is real.

And let’s be honest. Even if your Christmas celebrations were sparkly, meaningful, fun affairs that rejuvenated your soul, the blinking light show outside your home must still be taken down at some point, boxed, and put away. Christmas is only one day a year (or twelve if you celebrate Christmas until Epiphany), and whether magical or meager, Christmas always leaves you wanting more.

More hope. More peace. More joy. More love. More of life itself.

It’s in this wanting and waiting that life is lived and where God is found. So what is it that you’re waiting for?

For almost three years, I waited for a second child. I longed to see those two pink lines on the pregnancy test, to feel the flutter of new life within my body, and to bring a little Stein baby home from the hospital for the first time. I’m an avid planner, and so long before I was pregnant, I meticulously planned how I would reveal this wonderful news to my husband Jason.

I had a custom onesie made for this theoretical second child, purchased a stuffed animal, wrapped it with a note for Jason, and hid it in a drawer. The plan was that the moment I found out we were pregnant, I could pull out the gifts and present them to Jason. We’d both cry, and he’d hug me and tell me how amazing I was to put so much thought and intentionality into celebrating this beloved child.

And so, I waited. One month. Two months. At six months I was getting impatient. Each month, I’d open the drawer to make sure the gift was still there. It was. 8 months, 9 months. My longing for a second child was becoming a raw, anguishing need. 12 months, 15 months. The perfect gift lay untouched. My prayer journal was soaked with tears. 17 months. We were told that we had less than a 1% chance of conceiving naturally. I wondered if I should just throw away the gift.

During this season of intense waiting, I clung to the words of Psalm 27:13-14: “I would have despaired had I not believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; and wait for the Lord.” It wasn’t a promise that I would hold a second child, that my grief would be healed, or that all would be okay. But God had promised to show his goodness to me this side of heaven, and so it became a season of expectant hope as I actively looked for God’s fingerprints.

Surprisingly, this active waiting led to contentment and even joy as I learned that my deepest desire—the desire even greater than my longing for a second child—was to rest securely in God’s love. In the wanting and waiting, God was tenderly revealing himself to me, breaking down lies I had long believed, and replacing them with truth about who he is and who I am in him. He was teaching me that yes, a second child would be an incredible gift, but the greatest gift was one I’d already received: Jesus himself. Immanuel. God with us.

After 18 months of trying for a child, we found out we were pregnant, and I finally got to give Jason the onesie and stuffed animal. Jason didn’t cry, but it was still a special moment for this idealist.

Emma Ruth was born five years ago, and in a redemptive act that only God could imagine, one of Emma Ruth’s favorite things to do is articulate the gospel and dream about what it will be like when Jesus returns, and she’s reunited with Papa (her grandpa) and meets David for the first time. She gets it. This life is good, but dwelling face-to-face with God is even better.

Friends, if you’re a believer, you have the assurance that no matter what may come, God will be with you. He will be with you through pain, frustration, grief, disappointment, illness, betrayal, and loneliness. He will walk with you in the wanting and waiting. Jesus’ love is big enough to bring beauty from ashes and new life from what was once dead.

If you’re waiting for a hope that won’t disappoint, Jesus invites you to place your hope and trust in him. He offers the gift of everlasting life and invites you to experience true and abundant life today (John 10:10), life that is found only in him.

You and I aren’t promised that all our longings will be fulfilled this side of heaven, but God has promised to show you his goodness. Will you take him at his word and prayerfully ask for eyes to see more of his goodness at work?

In the hungering for more, may your heart take courage: Christ has died, Christ is risen, and Christ will come again!

Reflection Questions

 1.     What five words best describe your most recent Christmas experience? Where did you sense the longing for more?

2.     God is the God of more, and he is more than you could ever ask or imagine (see Eph. 3:20). What do you desire to ask him for more of? (While God always delights in hearing the prayers of his children, try to pray according to what you know to be true of God’s character and promises.)

3.     We live in the beautiful, messy, grace-filled period between the two comings of Christ. How does knowing that Jesus has already come and will come again to make all things new give you hope in your wanting and waiting?